Here I am today, sitting on a plane, headed back to Vermont,back to my everyday life. Most of the world is completely unaware of what has transpired over the past two days. It is again as I said before when I wrote about the BEAST, “From the outside looking in you will never understand, andfrom the inside looking out you will never be able to explain it.” I try my best in these blogs to covey what these races truly are, I can go over each obstacle in pain staking detail but really, it isn’t about a single obstacle, or stretch of trail. It is something that happens when they are all tied together, like a classical piece of music, these courses evoke strong emotions in us all. It doesn’t matter if you are the fastest or the slowest, each person createstheir own experience and carries off the course a unique experience singular tothem.

For me this race was about coming full circle. It was the cherry on top of the cake, no I didn’t win the $10,000 but that doesn’t make meless of a winner. Through this race season I have won something more important. I have won life long friendships, a newfound confidence, the ability to adaptand roll with situations in life. I am the most physically fit I have been in my life, so in a way I have won my health. For all these reasons and so manymore I had won already before I even crossed the starting line.

This race also got my hunger back, my hunger to compete,which I lost after the race in Maryland. I truly want to train again and get better, not because I have to, but because I want to. I want to not talk about being the best, I truly want to be the best, I can feel it within me. So withanother big race two weeks ago, there is not much I can physically do at thispoint, again no magic pill to suddenly make me faster or more fit. But I havemy own weapon, a clear mind and a clear objective. It may take a couple of years to become the best, but it is a goal to strive for. So as I close out my Spartan Race season and look ahead to my last race. I know what needs to bedone, and I know in the off-season what must be done to come back next year, withthe fire.

Each race we learn something about ourselves and this one taught me that I am stronger than I realize. I don’t need to feel like I am faking it anymore, I am among the elites, I can hang with them, and once I get my spear throw and traverse down, watch out.