No one said the journey would be easy. No one said you would instantly get everything you wanted and more. I was told I would fail and probably fail over and over again. But yet like everyone I formed a bubble around myself shielding out the possibilities I might not get everything I wanted. I always had gotten everything, call me spoiled but it always had worked out, until now.

Last year I found a race, a race like none I had seen before and one that happened to collide with my thirtieth birthday. I almost cried when I saw it thinking it was the race for me. For years I had set a goal of climbing Kilimanjaro before I was thirty. Knowing I wasn’t going to reach that goal, I was eladed to find Racing the Planet: Iceland a 250KM, seven day self supported stage race. I signed up almost immediately and was determined to make it my race of 2013. That was when I was fully employed and was a dorm parent with about zero living costs outside of a cell phone bill.

Well fast forward almost a year, my circumstances have changed. That $3,500 entry fee is no longer something that is feasible in my new lifestyle. Since I signed up for that race I have quit my job, started a new company, moved across the country, gone from a “me” to a “we”, and accrued a nice little pocket of debt in the process. Many long hours have gone into this decision and today it was cemented with an email, pulling myself from the race.

I had two choices, continue on my fantasy of adventure and continue to live in my bubble or look at the realities, financial and otherwise and chalk this one up to, not my race, not my time. However, in this decision not all is lost. Yes, this race will not be on my race resume, but with this monkey off my back of how to afford the rest of the race entry, the gear, the travel and more I can focus in on making the business profitable, growing the brand, and rejoice in the other races I have this year. Hell, I can even take a little time to do something for myself!

Pulling from Racing the Planet has allowed me to add another race, closer to home and one I have had my eye on since moving to Utah. With the pull out of Iceland it now allows me to take on Speedgoat 50K. It’s known as one of the hardest 50K’s in the country. But better than all that my friend Michelle Roy is coming to race it as well as my friend Kevin who lives up in Park City. So I will no longer be venturing into the great beyond but instead will be sticking close to home, sleeping in my own bed and racing with friends.

As I wrote my resignation letter to the race director at Racing the Planet, no tears were shed. The emotion was actually pretty flat. It said something to me, this really wasn’t my race and wasn’t my time for this race. It is still in my heart to complete one day and one year, just not this one. For now it’s about financially stabilizing myself, reworking the race schedule this year, and prioritizing life.

It’s time to be an adult, doesn’t that suck!

So now it’s back to focusing on the now, and prepping for the races I have, many will be done virtually this year, some I will travel far for. Others I will stick close to home. Time to become a more rounded competitor, break open the bubble, and start to look at all the possibilities right in my backyard. Tomorrow, I take on skinning for the first time with my new powder skis. Not all adventures need to be exotic, they can be made rich and rewarding right at home!