The fifth anniversary of this website has come and gone back in June. For the last five years, this website and this blog has given me an outlet to share not only my own story, thoughts, gear reviews, and race recaps, but also allowed me to share the stories of other women. These stories have come in the form of interviews, profiles, guest writers, and most recently podcast interviews.

Though the years writing and listening to other women and their stories one central theme has always stood out. All the women have shared a singular trait as part of their story… At some point, they all stopped giving a shit. They all stopped caring what those around them thought was the “right thing to do” or “what women should do” or “what women should be” whether they knew it or not they all have shared this same trait to one extent or another.

As I spend this month sequestered in the woods of the Adirondack mountains of New York I have time to think. A rarity in today’s busy world of electronic distractions, noise pollution, light pollution, and over-population in cities. Instead, here nestled in the woods on a nearly secluded lake there is none of this. The internet requires a walk to a different building and cell service is comical.

It is here that I have begun to practice the art of “not giving a shit” and realized that if I only have one goal for the next year or really my lifetime is to embrace the full version of myself and learn to “not give a shit”. As I interview each woman for the podcast I gain a bit of strength from their stories, listening to Heather Gannoe on Episode 2 talk about her naked 5K has pushed me to spend more time in the woods in the buff.

It was over a year ago I visited an energy healer for the first time and he told me after a long session that a change was going to take place in my life soon. Me being me wanted to know a timeline for this supposed change, then was told “it doesn’t work that way” and when it comes you will know it. Very woo woo as I left the office, but now all this time later it is all coming into focus.

It is as if the fog is clearing from the lake on the morning and I am able to see that yes a change has happened and I am embracing it. From finishing my masters degree, to getting engaged, to realizing the path forward is breaking up with beast mode, and finally embracing the full extent of me, myself, and I. Still working on that last part but as I am now 33 I can’t think of a better time to focus on the me and focus on being comfortable in my own meat suit.