Still on the mend, still playing the tiresome game of healing. I am just going to come out and say it sprained ankles are the worst. They are the worst because you feel like you should be able to do everything but are only hindering the healing process. So instead of dwelling on the things that I cannot change, I pause, step back, take a deep breath and refocus as we often need to do in life when not all is going our way.

 

This pause, pause in my training, but not in my journey, this pause has allowed me to explore and start to see the changes within myself and how it effects those around me. Yes, I was in a funk this Fall, yes I am out of it now. I have reemerged a bit changed, those around me have seen it. I walk with a little lighter step these days and hold my head a little higher. I have shed part of the old me, giving birth to a new me.
 

The old was scared, scared to take real chances, scared to fully jump out of her comfort zone. I had in the past thought I was stepping out, trying something new, when in reality I was making sure that there was a nice soft landing underneath me if it all didn’t work out. Something now is a little different, something has shifted a bit. I find myself taking more chances in all aspects of life, not reckless chances, but opening up to greater possibilities. Some of this is my own doing and some is due to a few key friends giving the first push along the way. The push can be painful at times but needed, our own personal boxes are comfortable, we created them for a reason, stepping out requires courage and strength and sometimes it takes a friend to see that strength within you.
 

When we say we are open to anything, are we really. Or is it in theory we are open to the new but when it comes down to game time, time to step up we are ready to step back and let the others lead. It is time for me to stop waiting for that first person to make the plunge, continue to play it safe for safeties sake. The time now is to open up, welcome in the new, the different, all the possibilities.
 

As these possibilities present themselves instead of weighing the options, I am learning to embrace them, invite them in and see what happens. Because it is not until we are afraid of nothing that we can truly open ourselves to learning anything. So I am jumping in with two feet, casting aside fear, open to new possibilities. Will I get burned along the way, probably but its those scars that make us unique and help us, upgrade and become the new version of ourselves, still the same but forever changed.
 

Stuck in this pause of injury has forced me to slow down and given me much time to reflect and face things like fear, motivation, internal drivers, relationships with those around me, my relationship with myself, and overall let me learn how to be comfortable with myself. For if I am not comfortable with me then I can not be comfortable around others.
 

So my pledge now is to continue to open the door, continue to let in new experiences, no matter how awkward I might feel at first. Because new things are awkward, we do not wake up an expert at anything, it takes, practice and time to develop skills. But, if we don’t push past that awkward stage and never give something a try and risk being burned, then we can never truly experience the wonders and all the joys that might lay just ahead out of sight. The first steps have been taken, I have opened my box and am ready to let the new experiences in, now it is time to continue to march forward into the great unknown.